All of Me.
Brian and I have these moments in the mornings when we wake before the kids do and chat. About life, about the week, things that are coming up.
One morning he said to me something that stung.
Something that I needed to hear but was hard to hear at the same time.
Why don't you be the same Amber online, that I see everyday.
My first response was defense. I am the same person. I am ME. Always.
He went on to explain that I have always pushed perfection in life. Remember my meltdown/awakening? That was caused by the pursuit of perfection. He said, be the same Amber that I see struggle, work, stumble, fix, succeed, fail. The same Amber that I see say 'shit' a thousand times as she is working through a project. You don't share her online, you only share the outcomes...the success. You should show people the struggle, THAT is relatable.
As much as it pains me to type this,
He. Is. Right.
I don't have it all together. I don't know how this community will evolve but what I do know is that I do want you to see me. Not because I am perfect but because I am far from it. I want you to see that although my path may be different than yours we all struggle and fail through life. We all don't know half the time what the hell we are doing. That is okay.
So here is my vow to you. This will not be a space of me showing you how you should live but a space in which we live so we can see the struggle, work, stumble, fix, succeed, failures in each other.